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:D   
12:35am 08/09/2006
 
mood: excited
happy things are happening. stay tuned.		  
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!!   
04:30pm 26/08/2006
  i hold in my hand us open box seats for the quarterfinals, bitches.  
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12:00am 10/08/2006
 
mood: chill
music: John Brown's Body - Ambrosia
ice wine
reggae
after effects

i like the fact that said combo could be my future job description.		  
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RIP Lucky Goeller.   
12:22pm 15/07/2006
 
mood: sad


he survived being abandoned by his mother, an abusive first owner, two intestinal surgeries and countless raccoon brawls. but i suppose cancer would bring anyone down. he was my first kitty and a fucking fighter and i will love him forever.		  
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ninjas versus pirates?   
01:14am 11/07/2006
 
mood: excited
emblazoned against a blue backdrop on ashley's pajama pants:

a cute little turtle
who is sitting in
a strawberry.

i ask you, COULD THERE BE ANYTHING MORE ADORABLE.

johnny depp is shifting my previously biased views in the pirates versus ninjas debate.

does this exist:

they play a movie, with the soundtrack complete minus the score itself. behind the screen, which is opaque enough to allow for the projection of the film, yet translucent enough to allow for viewing of what lay behind it, a full orchestra plays the score live, and timed perfectly.

maybe that already exists and i'm missing out. but if not, let's get on it.		  
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times   
11:40am 01/07/2006
 
mood: groggy
music: Belle and Sebastian - Lazy Line Painter Jane
raise the guys that don't talk to me count to four. i now have two randoms, one ex-potential boyfriend and one ex-long term boyfriend.

so no matter what the relationship status, almost every one of my past situations refuses to communicate. it's difficult to understand, as i try to be the nicest person in the world to them. whether i truly have feelings for someone or something random happens i want to be a good friend. i figure that if someone is just very nice, how can you ignore them. but maybe that makes it easiest.		  
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hmmmmm   
10:49am 18/06/2006
 
mood: contemplative
not sure what that was. i should watch the sunrise soon, 5am at the beach is the best time of day. breezy and dark blue and somewhat magical. and my mom seems not to care, because whenever i come home that late she says, "get in late last night?" "yeah, like 4 or 5." "well its 12 now, so that's almost 8 hours! : ) sleep in!"

but i wish people weren't so, emotionless. i suppose i'm used to whiny artsy types but at least they whine when something is good or bad. they make any sort of noise, at all.		  
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mmm   
04:50am 13/06/2006
 
mood: content
it is summer when you come home at night and the birds are chirping, the sky turned from black to blue.

when a good thing turns bad and is replaced by a possibly good thing

maybe i am capable of the summer fling, no strings kinda deal. if so, this could be a kickass summer once again.		  
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smear some cream cheese in my gold locket   
09:36am 28/05/2006
  i had a dream that condoleeza rice was chasing me with a shot gun. her and bush were hiding in this fort in the woods and me and someone else were banging on the walls of their fort and screaming out what we thought of them. then she ran out yelling and frantically waving her shot gun toward me, and then i woke up.  
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the dirty jerse   
07:03pm 21/05/2006
 
mood: intrigued
music: Gorillaz - Kids with Guns
it's my chocolate attack

i feel so.. travolta!
ungh.

jerse was jerse. lots of watching things on screens. lots of kissing boys. lots of having those boys' girlfriends call your cell phone. woyahhh

this was either really good or really terrible. i'm hoping the former because i really, really like this one.

the man plays canasta, sings do you realize by the flaming lips, has those certain skinny hips. wears low rise black jeans. speaks his mind about religion, and socialism, likes me back.		  
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09:49pm 18/05/2006
 
mood: giggly
new jersey is kickass.

lauren's family rocks the world and lauren is my love and mark is


mark<3		  
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NJ TIMESSS   
09:42pm 17/05/2006
 
mood: excited
music: VHS or Beta - Night On Fire
perhaps it is the prospect of a cute boy to hug or the fact that my father and i just killed a bottle of red wine, but the words "new jersey" are becoming SLIGHTLY less harsh to my ears.

never did i imagine that i would visit the great state on a luxurious vacation. i am slowly, slllooowwwwlllyyyy maybe! changing my views toward it, as two of its residents are some of my favorite people in the world. tomorrow i will embark upon a journey to visit lauren page burner and her good friend mark. both of whom rock the very fibers of life as we know it. in honour of my recent epiphany toward what i was raised to believe was the armpit of new york, i have made a playlist entitled, "new jersey doesn't suck maybe" that i will listen to on the drive over, and determine on the way my exact viewpoint toward the state. because, not gonna lie, last time i got on the turnpike it did start to smell really bad. but hey! mayhaps things will change as i rock katamari with the best people ever. we shall see, i am trying to stay optimistic about this journey! yes

lauren will always be one of my best friends in the world, she is so sweet to me always.
and marko. is just, a very adorable boy who says nice nice things to me, and makes me happy when i am lonely. between the two of them i have a hell of a weekend, roooocktime		  
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the first conversation i've had with derek in four months:   
12:46am 14/05/2006
 
mood: sad
fuego trabajo: greetings!

zkneech: hey

fuego trabajo: wanted to apologize for being very in-communicado.

zkneech: yeah ; / it sucked!

fuego trabajo: it wasn't cool of me, but I guess I needed it.

at this point i am, of course, crying.

zkneech: yeah i guess not talking was good for me too. i definitely got over everything. it was just weird cause people are always asking about you, and all i can say is i dunno i haven't heard from him in a few months.

fuego trabajo: I know, im very sorry about that.

fuego trabajo: i actually am about to get going, but we'll talk soon!

fuego trabajo: byes : )

fuego trabajo has gone offline.


i always give in. i could sit here for months and proclaim my anger, the fact that i have moved on, but the second derek acknowledges my existence i come crashing to my knees. while he's putting me through this cold shoulder bull shit through no fault of my own, one birthday text message or random im makes me giggle like a school girl who just got noticed by the boy she has a crush on. i forget everything that's made me miserable since he left.

i can't find it in my heart to hate him, because i know this isn't him. whoever it is that's been making me feel worthless can't be derek, because derek would never do anything like this. derek's the boy who made me pancakes and got excited when i was in his bed in the morning and told me he loved me for two fucking years.

whoever he became when he moved to california is different and scary and i hope not permanent. because i can't stop loving this boy. he is too lovable. i want him to come back and be the same derek and be my friend who plays frisbee with me and jenna and robin and erik in the park. i don't know what i'll do if that person is gone forever.		  
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11:42am 09/05/2006
 
mood: sad
dear manhattan,

have an excellent summer. don't do anything i wouldn't do. don't get bombed while i'm gone. keep being kickass and i'll see you in september.

love,
kelly		  
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!   
12:46pm 07/05/2006
 
mood: content
music: Billy Joel
boys can be extremely adorable from time to time. except douchebags.

last freshman week has rocked most hardcore, lots of tribeca screenings and shows and drink times. lauren's friends came in last night, her friends are always amazing : )

i'm facebook engaged to my RA, i'm not sure if that's weird.

we went to see four eyed monsters at the brooklyn museum last night, its this awesome film by two directors (susan and arin) who shot it all on miniDV, edited it on final cut and are trying to distribute it without any distribution companies, and through podcasts and other such things it's working out for them. it's pretty cool because if they succeed it's really inspiring for the rest of us, who don't have amazing equipment and don't get their film picked up by a studio. everyone should check out the website and request a screening in your area, because the film is awesome.

we got there five minutes before it started and they were out of tickets, and it was really upsetting because we had just gone through subway transferring hell to get there. but the director susan recognized me and she was able to get us in at the last minute, though we had to sit on the floor. they're really cool kids and it's awesome to see how easy it can be to get a film out there, and with equipment everyone has at home.

end rant! today is the great chalk attack, where the park will be taken by storm and drawn on most supremely!

i will be home on tuesday, i miss all of you guys <33		  
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02:35am 29/04/2006
 
music: Gorillaz - Feel Good Inc.
we crossed houston today and there was jeff goldblum, standing in the middle of the street and waving his arms frantically.

and a block later i looked at brennan and he looked at me and we muttered, jeff goldblum. hm.		  
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c.tine   
02:18pm 23/04/2006
 
mood: contemplative
after two redbulls, a bowl, season one of andy milonakis, tears, and boob cake

there is nothing like a long island sunrise

love		  
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flowers   
02:33pm 19/04/2006
 
mood: cheerful
music: Franz Ferdinand - This Boy
you wouldn't think it, but franz ferdinand puts on the single most energetic and exciting show i have ever seen. and the frontman alex has the amazing ability to convince every single audience member, regardless of gender, to have passionate sex with him. they weren't even one of my favorite bands, and i really went to the show to see death cab, but then they blew everyone away. completely amazing. and he climbed onto the audience and on top of me and lauren with his sweaty gorgeousness.

there are flowers and trees blooming all over the park

this is a campus because everyone i pass goes here

i know the air isn't fresh but it smells like it.

my animation final is coming along i am almost done and so happy with what it looks like so far : )

things are happy!		  
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05:20pm 16/04/2006
  derek wrote me a text message saying happy easter meester. it is thoughtful because i didn't think he would.

i think i should start spelling things with u's and putting r's before e's.

me and lauren are going to start going to the village zendo weekly to meditate, it should be nice

random people talked about something i posted on google video in a message board.

i need to edit the tv show. and shoot my animation, and make a website. and design things for me instead of for other people

i was in my great grandmother's living room earlier standing on the barnboard floors from 1700-something, and i saw this picture of her daughter, my grandmother. it was her senior picture, and she was gorgeous. she was looking over her left shoulder smiling and she looked exactly like my mom, and exactly like me. and it felt like i was part of some existing pattern in the universe. i'm going to get a print of it, and a print of my great grandma's and my mom's and my senior pictures and do something with them. put them all in one frame in a line or a square i'm not sure.

and i found out that i'm a daughter of the american revolution or some crazy thing, cause we can trace our ancestry back to the mayflower and william bradford, the governor of plymouth plantation. everyone in our geneology was named raynor or tuthill or stevens or halsey or woodhull, the same crazy inbreeding that all of the east end shares. i feel dirty, or waspy.

eastertime, i must go eat some cheesecake, ham, and homemade applesauce. wow, break out the three corner hats and buckled shoes!		  
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real college   
01:25am 03/04/2006
 
mood: happy
boston was amazing.

danielle's friends rock my world. i went to my first frat party ever last night, it was... rather stereotypical. before that we had a surprise irish birthday for dp's friend patrick with entirely green everything.

earlier we ran around a lawn throwing paint and colored water on each other for the Indian color festival Holy, it was completely insane.

then things got a bit crazy and jen dropped a glass bottle on the kitchen floor of the frat house and proceeded to walk slowly away from the scene, and of course danielle jumped to the ground and began picking up the glass with her bare hands, screaming "i work in a restaurant!"

then i met this awesome guy viraj, who's from dubai, which is a small country on the arabian peninsula that has shit like this and this.

he has a british accent, an american accent, and speaks french, and can change between them at will. so we decided to go for the british, and i attempted it as well but i'm not that good. we chilled for hours discussing what the rest of the world thinks about america, and it was really interesting to get an international perspective on that.

i somehow learned so much about Indian and Arab cultures this weekend amidst crazy drunken times. it made me want to learn everything ever about the world. and it made me realize how uncultured we all are compared to people across the atlantic. i suppose its because they can travel between countries so easily. i really want to not be an ignorant american anymore.

and apparently viraj hangs out in hayden all the time, he has some friends on the 5th floor. which kicks ass cause he's rather "fit," as i learned the british like to say. i also ran into like four people at tufts and on the bus that know people from mattituck, so that was random as well.

so what it all comes down to is that danielle pfaff rocks my life, and she knows how to show her guests a good time.		  
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